I believe, that I am not the only one who tries to survive in the adults’ world.
I have entered this world a bit later than my friends, but I had a great chance to stay longer as a student. Now I am in my late 20’s and I have newly entered a serious full-time job.
You know what? Adulting s*cks. I wish I could be a student again. Unfortunately, we all have to grow up and become adults sooner or later. So let’s get yourself together and adult up!
Adulting is kinda funny: you finally get your freedom and start planning your life step by step; make crazy decisions and achieve something by yourself; you make a family, you buy your first house; you get a promotion at work; you hate your boss but you can’t actually quit because you have to pay for your first home… And life turns crazy. Not a “teen-like-crazy”.
At some point you think “Is this what is life about? Will it be like that forever?”
I definitely have thoughts like that. Without being able to change something from the ground, I try to find ways to survive the adults’ world without turning crazy. These are some of my tips.
How to adult-up without losing your mind?
#1 Sometimes, I feel like something is not going good (read: not as I would like it to be). And I feel like I am getting angry about it, so easy and so fast. I can explode in a matter of seconds like a balloon filled with gas. As an adult, I clearly understand that if I spread my mood, I will most probably lose my job, my friends, hurt my family etc.
This is when acting as an adult is better than as a teenager. You get smarter with years and more patient. When I have a situation that makes me angry or sad, I ask myself a few questions:
- Does it directly relate to me?
- Is it something I can do about?
- Is there something someone else HAD to do about it?
- Who is guilty about it?
These questions help me to analyze the situation. In most cases: it doesn’t relate to me, or at least it shouldn’t bother me. There is nothing someone else can do about it. And it is probably my fault. So, why to be angry with the whole world or even with myself? It is better to fix the problem and move on.
The world is not perfect. It is unfair. But we are not 10 years old anymore. We face the unfair world and learn how to survive in it. That is called being an adult.
#2 I hate that I have so much to do and so less time. I have a full-time job (as many of us do). And it takes a bunch of my time which I would like to spend in a better way.
We all have responsibilities. I love my job, but 5/2..ugh… (this is only because I still remember what else you can during the day when you don’t have to go to work).
It is really hard to balance your life. Sometimes we need to sacrifice something or make a choice. The example from just yesterday. I ‘ve made a perfect plan for the weekend, literally planned every hour and every minute of my day to have time for everything. But then, suddenly, my cat got sick. And even if I planned to go shopping and (I was waiting for it for a month already), I chose to go to the vet clinic. I had to. This is my responsibility to watch if my cat is safe and healthy since I have adopted him.
Balancing is hard. I didn’t master it yet. I feel lost when I can’t balance everything.
Here is how to balance your life and stop stressing about it:
Once I’ve heard very wise words. Imagine you have a stove with 4 fire tops on it. But you can burn only 3 of them at the same time. Let’s assume them to be: Work; Friends; Family; and Time for yourself. Two of them must burn all the time: like Work and Family (or whatever it is important for you), and the third one is your choice.
The point is, you physically can’t be on time everywhere and for everybody. And there is no reason to blame yourself about it. Manage your time.
However, I don’t want to choose “myself” and never being able to find time for my friends. So, I think, if once I chose friends, and the other time I choose “myself”, it will bring some balance to my life.
#3 Cleaning and other housework. I love when things are done. I love to tick a line in my “to do” list. However, without a cleaning lady, it is hard to keep my home pure clean every day. Not like my homies were whining about it, but I have a certain picture of a perfect house in my head and I desperately try to reach it.
This is not right. We are humans. Home should be home, not a museum.
I do my homework regularly, but I try not to blame myself for its imperfectness. When I grow old, I prefer to remember how I watched a movie with my husband, but not how I washed the floor for the 5th time in one week.
Wanting to have your home clean is not bad, but don’t go crazy about it if it is not the meaning of your life. Leave some moments for life.
#4 Time. What is mutual for almost all the things in this list, is the lack of time. Adults’ world is the world without spare time. I’m in the process of finding the best strategy for time-saving. There are so many different ways and possibilities to save your time. And you need to find the one that fits you.
For example, lately, I find shopping very time-consuming. You literally spend hours in shopping malls and you are lucky to go home with one piece of cloth that you liked. Now, I think about online shopping. Shopping is fun, no doubts. But when I find that I have wasted 3 hours of my day without being able to find that one blouse I was dreaming about, I feel nothing but regret.
I’ll try to learn all the rules and tricks of online shopping and share them with you.
Adulting s*cks, I have no doubts about it anymore.
Adults have so many responsibilities, so many things to think and care about, and so less time to solve everything.
Maybe, the best way to adult-up is to relax?
Everybody has problems, everybody wants more time, and you are not alone. When I think about it, I feel a little bit better. Remeber that no one is perfect and don’t blame yourself for not fitting someones “perfect picture”. Make your own picture of a perfect adult for yourself!